What seemed like the most exhausting year is finally coming to and end, at least I would say. I usually like to put out there, though in a different type of way if it makes sense, how I really feel, and writing is becoming one of the things that help me have a raw connection with my emotions.
I’m such an amateur at this but I also believe that everyone has got to start from somewhere so I hope that you can bear with me but I also do hope that I get to the hearts of the very few people, the by-passers on this page… Because that counts :). So yes, 2016… it’s been one of a kind, the bad could have outweighed the good maybe in terms of failed love, failed friendships.. mistakes that we feel we will never recover from, same old mentally and emotionally exhausting jobs etcetera etcetera.. I personally have had one hell of a ride, I don’t mean a smooth one. Oh boy! But I feel that this is it, this is growing up! You have got to feel all of this pain, all of the frustrations so you can realize just how maybe you want to do better, do better for yourself, for your family, for your loved ones and your community at large.
It’s always a lot easier to blame people for things because sometimes running away from responsibility is a quicker escape from the chaos. I for one spent most of the year sad, drained, constantly asking why. I could have felt a bit neglected at some point but I also want to believe that most of the time we do create these negative spaces for ourselves, and when things get too toxic we turn around trying to find just who we could put the blame on. You have got to constantly ask yourself, what do I need to do to change this situation? What could be the way forward to make things better, to move forward in life?
Easier said that done right? I agree, as much as it is okay not be okay, we are not suppose to not be okay for the longest time. Every one of us on this earth deserves to be happy, we all deserve to be treated with love and respect. If the person that you are with is constantly bringing you down, constantly hurting you and constantly making you question your worthiness, then it is really time to go. It hurts and you will probably have a couple sleepless nights reminiscing and thinking about what could be, but everyone deserves better, I know there’s more to it but the relationships that we have with people play a very important role in our lives. If you keep the poison around you, then just how don’t you expect to drown in it? I was halfway drowning in it. But it’s time, it’s time to do better for me. It’s time to do better for you too….. We have have got to keep on keeping on and this means fighting for ourselves, our dreams, learning to break away from situations that do not make us a better version of ourselves. Self love, worthiness and knowing that the one that are truly for you ain’t never going anywhere. This is coming from me to me because I need to learn how to take my own advice haha, but this too is coming from me to you.. Self love first alright 🙂
Happy Festive Season,